Happy Deepavali!
As much as I would like to make fun of Hinduism on this fine day, or wallow in pitiful homesickness (I’m in Singapore, my family’s in KL), I’ll talk about something else far more interesting.
Malays. Or rather, the UMNO varietal. Last year, during their General Shindig, Hishamuddin decided to threaten non-Malays with a keris, a jagged Malay dagger. Apparently, it was a cultural symbol, so cultural that those seeking immigration to Australia and other ang moh countries increased dramatically.
This year, with a far more toned-down General Assembly (UMNOputras realized this time that they are televised), it’s only comedic that they remind us all with the keris case. Apparently, the keris was a symbol of protection. That’s right. When I threaten to stab you, I’m only trying to protect you. From, uhm, something.
Like evil meritocracy. Evil.
Hishammuddin also wanted UMNO to be a nice party, one with cupcake tea parties. Sure, when you have a weapon as a symbol of, erm, “protection”, “nice” comes right along with it. Why? UMNO’s partners in crime is getting a little unhappy with UMNO’s ultra-Malay rhetoric. Shocker there. If I threatened a large portion of the population with violence if they step out of line, the last thing I would expect is uneasiness. Don’t they see, UMNO is trying to protect them?
Protect them from UMNO’s ultra-Malays, that is.
So, to all my Indian readers out there, Happy Deepavali. And if you’re feeling a little unsafe, just imagine of Hishammuddin brandishing a keris. You would feel more relaxed and protected. Trust me.
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